cakap banyak sini

Sabtu, 19 Februari 2011

biar saya explain...

I would like to make a clear statement here that I didn't delete my FB account. It had been deactivated for almost 5 days now I guess.. Miss it? Well I miss chatting with friends.. but for now I have to avoid doing this.. I know this sounds selfish but I ignored all messages and calls from everyone..I'm somewhere else right now.. *NOT AT HOME . So now I'm talking to myself here in blog.. it feels soothing for some reason I dunno why. But honestly I haven't talk to myself for quite a long time now.. don't get me wrong I'm still healthy heart and soul just having some tough time alone...I don't want to involve anyone including my parents in this.. Its between me and Allah.. I need to settle things, because my heart is not at ease right now.. Insya-Allah everything will be fine.. I hope you pray for my well being and give me some space. I will return and be a better person. Here I tried to improve my ibadah thanks to ateh but I still I'm still far from what I wish to achieve.. The most important thing is I have to clear this mind and calm down for a bit... I feel peaceful here but I can't stop thinking about *The Important Day* will come soon.. I'm worried will I succeed or fail? He knows everything.. I'm not hoping much like a line of straight A+ in my result. I'm the average. All I hope is on that day I'll smile and cry for being grateful instead of pretending to smile and cry and deep inside here bleeding a lot.. blaming myself.. I don't want to feel like that anymore.. I'm scared..

kawan2 nak tau kenapa saya deactivate FB?
*saya ada terlalu banyak benda to think of
*saya rasa serabut tengok status tekanan org
*saya takut saya berjanji dalam x sedar
*saya takut bila saya "terlalu seronok" 
*conclusion saya takmau jadi mcmni 

4 ulasan:

lah berkata...

laa.. ptut aku cri x jmpa. phone da sihat blum? mcm mna nk contact ang?

asyraf_glee berkata...

aku pakai numbr lama rr :D 01&
dah ok dah

Shahirah Zainol berkata...

wey !! mlm nih ada kelas kt kfc laaaa, x mai ka? :(

asyraf_glee berkata...

tah laa :( ak xleh.... sorry